Before you read any further please acknowledge this disclaimer. I am not suggesting in any way that you should use these pickup lines on anyone. Any rejection or physical harm that you may succumb to as a result of using them is not my fault.
  

Having said that, it is time for me to bestow some of my mac-daddy knowledge on you. I field tested these pickup lines on a lot of girls. The simple fact that I have come to realize is that, for the most part, pickup lines don't work. I was shut down so many times over the past few days that it makes me want to cry a little (I did actually shed a few tears), but if you insist on using them here is some of the feedback that I received:
 
-"GIRL! You must be a pirate cause I want cho booty."
This line does not work at all. Every girl that I tried it on glared at me and then walked away. Most girls will find this offensive... because it is. It was funny for the people who were watching though.
 
-"Ah man. Something is wrong with my cell phone.(What?) It's just that... your number's not in it."
 I was actually able to get two numbers with this line. One of them turned out to be fake, but at least I got one real one. This is a relatively safe line to use, but there is not any way of telling how a girl will react to it.
 
-"If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents."
I tried this twice and both times the girl laughed at me. One girl said it was cheesy.
 
-"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
Five attempts and zero success. Every time the girl scoffed at me and walked away. This line usually makes you sound full of yourself, so use it with caution.
 
-"If you were a taser you would be set on stunning."
A friend of mine tried this and we decided that once was enough, because the answer he received was priceless. He said it to a girl and she replied "I wish I had a taser."
 
-"Excuse me... Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life and I was wondering if I could interview you."
  If used wisely, this line is not half bad. I'm a mac-daddy though, so I know that other people might have more trouble than I do.
 
-"Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?"
I actually managed to ask a girl who really had raisins in her bag on my first try. If the girl happens to have raisins don't ask her for any. You don't want to impose, so either ask her about the date or cut your losses and run away.

-"I hope your day is as radiant as your smile."
If ever there was a great pickup line this is it. I ended up with six phone numbers from six attempts. Two girls even said that I was sweet. Just note that you will probably have to say something after this or she may smile, walk away and you may never see her again.

The following pickup lines that should NEVER EVER be used under ANY circumstances. They DO NOT work and if they do you probably don't want to be talking to that girl.  (Useful if you are just looking for a laugh.)

-"I lost my teddybear, can I take you home with me instead?"
I said it. She slapped me. I gave up.

-"If you were a burger at McDonalds you'd be the McGorgeous."
Any pickup line that starts with "If you were a burger" has stupid written all over it.

-"I may not be DQ, but I could treat you right."
No comment. It's just that bad.

-"Nice to meet you my name is(your name) and you are ..... gorgeous."
What else is there to say after a line like that.

These next few lines should be used at least once at some point in every guy's life. They're just that good.

-"I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but ... I'm Batman."
What can I say? Priceless.

-"I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?"
I drink a lot of milk too. You can tell from my rock hard body.

-"Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines?'"

The bottom line is pickup lines are not as effective as talking, but they are a lot more fun. Just be careful not too be too offensive. I wouldn't use them if you're actually trying to get a date, unless you're a mac-daddy, like me, then anything works. If you're thinking I wish I was a mac-daddy don't despair. Stay tuned for the next edition of PawPrints because I might write one!